So I was reading this post on How To Pursue A Young Lady. The question I have in mind is, when do you start pursuing? Is it when...
- When you think the girl is hot?
- When you know you want to be in a relationship with the girl?
- When you just want to get to know her a little better?
- When you feel that you enjoy spending time with her?
- When you think that marriage is a possibility? (I guess if you know for sure you do not want to marry the girl, why get into a relationship in the first place? AND I'm definitely not saying that you should only go into a relationship knowing you want to marry her!)
So girls out there, help me out here. At what stage do you want to know what the guy is feeling? When he is slightly interested, when he "loves" you or somewhere in the middle.
7 comments:
when he is passed the 'slightly interested' phase and started on the 'i tried to keep her out of my mind but can't' phase :)
Interesting post!
This is perhaps one of the most difficult yet exciting journey one has to go through in his life. But, here's my 2-cent worth of opinions:
Like what is said in the article - "Be persistence in prayer". How true is it when He knows what He wants of us. All we need to do is pray and wait. The time will come when He will reveal to you who that young lady of yours is. God's timing is perfect, isn't it?
And when you feel in heart you want to know more about that one particular girl, ask her out. A casual drink or dinner will be a good opportunity for you two to get to know about her as well as yourself. During the conversation, be honest (quoting from the artircle again).
Be her friend. Know more about her. Know what she likes, doesn't like, her values, her experience.
However, being her friend can be pretty daunting sometimes, as that's the time when your heart starts pumping up and down, your moods might go high and low. To quote Joshua Harris, always guard your heart. So i guess plenty of prayers and reflections will be needed during this period to determine whether you want the girl or not. Hence, patience would be a good virtue here (quoting from the article again).
Conclusion: Be a man, ask her out, talk to her, and most importantly listen. If what you two talk about is to know more about each other, there is no chance of you thinking that you're actually misleading her.
Way to go, Raymond! :)
lol interesting.
well i think that getting to know her better as a person is always a good start, and combined with prayer i think you'll know whether you can fit well with her. and the culture in nz really helps as well.. because guys n gals can be real good friends and no one will start teasing u guys or anything like that.. (teasing is not really helpful sometimes).. and after that if you think she may be right for you then ask her out! =D
to answer ur question:
when he is somewhere in between :p
joshua harris in the book 'boy meets girl' talks about being a friend first..
how to be a friend when the feelings already somewhere in between ne?
that's why we need God more :p
and never ever talk about things that will stoke the romantic fire when time is not right... e.g. marriage or children that kinda thing.. :p dun flirt, especially with words.. respect her as you wud honour and respect a sister in christ, though you 'like' her.. coz girls are, in general, (highly) sensitive emotional beings :p
more can be found in Joshua Harris' book.. )
can't wait for Perry Noble's next article on how to be pursued :p
to Fran:
ya, i agree with you that teasing doesn't really help. i do fall short of that though, shud keep myself in check :p haha. thanks for sharing!
hhahaha...thats why la u were so deep in thought on msn that day...
i think the notion of dating and saying clearly "i'd like to get to know u better" already seems quite serious. when you're still considering...it might be "dangerous" to inform the girl of ur interest. hahaha.
so...in my *humble* opinion it's better to remain as friends and REALLY get to know her...until you decide you actually like her and are sure of pursuing a relationship with her (not the play play relationship kind la)...then ask her out for a date ;)
of course, might not turn out together, but hey...at least u did it with the "purest" of intentions for a relationship right? :)
oh ya in response to ur last question, yeah i guess he should only confess when he is "SURE" that he "loves" me, somewhat. hahaha. or else it's just confusing.
and if i find it confusing, i usually go cold turkey coz seems like he's "playing" and im really not interested to think too much abt it. he'll pursue me consistently if he "loves" me, right? ;)
Hahaha... Sorry i was kinda impatient the other day when you were so "confused".... Had a test ma...
Anyway, see? you have HEAPS of friends with AWESOME advice that i think mine seemed very novice.
At the end of the day, it boils down to Prayer... and tht Josh Harris book "Boy meets Girl".... VERY GOOD... GO READ!!!!! ;)
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